The Show Will Never End
by The Harlequin Pirate
Summary: When the Joker returns from a gunfight badly injured, a distressed Harley does her best to bring chaos to Gotham without him, and in doing so proves herself to be not just a henchgirl, but a threatening, violent, unstable danger to society. JokerxHarley
1. The chaos ends

**A/N Geeez, I ain't been on fanfiction for so long... this is my first fanfic in about 8 months. It's my first ever Batman one, and critique in reviews is welcome, especially if i mess up some facts or character storylines. This'll probably end up in 5 or 6 parts, so I hope you sit back and enjoy the show... ;p**

**Disclaimer; Yeah, yeah, everyone knows my brain doesn't have the power to think up legendary characters like The Joker and Harley. But I DO have the power to control them with words....  
**

* * *

Harley slept silently, curled up on the dark leather sofa. Her hand lolled over the side of the cushion, still loosely clasping the TV remote. The Gotham News blared into the dark apartment, casting brief flashes of dull colour up the bare walls, the reporters' voices muted.

Harley's expression was confused and troubled as she slept. Her eyebrows pulled together, and the numb frown she wore went oddly with the smudged lipstick smile that was splayed across her face.

The room was still, the only sounds were Harley's hushed breathing, the two hyenas in their cage in the next room, and distant police sirens deep in the city.

After a few more moments had stumbled along, the sirens began to get louder and closer, and the low whir of a helicopter arrived. Then there was a series of squealing tyres, and the first of the gunshots.

Harley stirred, but remained ignorant of the chaos beginning to unfold below her. The Hyenas, on the other hand, were awake and restless in their cage, happy for something to yap at. They began yowling at the ever-closer sirens. Somehow, Harley managed to stay unconscious, until a second round of bullets jolted her awake.

She sat up clumsily, and winced at all the noise around her. After taking a long time yawning, groaning and struggling upright, she rubbed slowly at heavy eyelids and stumbled in the general direction of the kitchen.

"Ya see_, this _is why ya get left in the truck every night," She said groggily to Bud and Lou, before kicking at the cage and shoving a few scraps of meat at them. They quieted slightly as they ate, but didn't stop growling wheezily at Harley as she left the room. Heading for the bedroom, she peered curiously out of the window at the city around her. She couldn't remember exactly which apartment block she was in. The cheap building that she, the Joker, and all the other henchmen were living in at the moment was just one of many criminal hideouts throughout Gotham.

Thinking of the Joker, she paused in her analysis of nearby streets. He was out tonight, everyone was out, taking down one of the more traitorous mob leaders or something... She paused, as a police car chase sped recklessly across the street below her window. She remembered what the Joker had planned for tonight, and realised that it must be him causing the chaos in the streets below. What confused her, however, was why she was still here, why she wasn't shooting at the police right now. Why had the Joker left her out this time? It was just one of his usual jaunts; He had planned to rob a bank, then dump the cash inside a deadly, radiated area inside Gotham's power plant. He said the funny side was to see how many people would die of radiation poisoning trying to get the pathetic little bits of paper back to the bank again.

But obviously, it hadn't all gone to plan, as the ruckus and gunfire proved. Harley worried about him for a second or two, but when she saw a police car get blown ten foot in the air, causing several others to skid and crash, she stopped her fretting. This was the Joker she was worrying about.

She sighed and rubbed her tired eyes as she weighed her options. She could grab a few knives and a shotgun and rush out to the street battle below, or she could stay up here and wait for Mr J to come back. The latter seemed the best option. She was tired, and if the Joker wanted her to be part of this, he'd have taken her along anyway.

She turned away from the window and drowsily turned to the bedroom, where she slumped down on top of the duvet, and returned to her silent dreams.

xxxx

A few hours later, two henchmen broke the door open, and limped into the apartment. After them came a few others, all injured and bleeding. The Joker stumbled thorough last, and like an injured pack leader, he snarled and shoved the goons out of his way as he part prowled, part limped and part staggered to the bedroom. He grasped his left side with bloody fingers, and needed to use the walls and furniture for support.

When he'd made his way to the bedroom, he woke Harley by dragging her off the bed by her hair then slumping on it himself.

Harley cried out as she hit the floor. She shook her head, dazed, and was already preparing herself to bolt from the room; She'd deduced Mr J wasn't in the greatest of moods.

However, she paused when he made no other move to strike her, and stood upright, still slightly disoriented.

Harley noticed something was wrong with Joker. In fact, there was a lot wrong. His rasping breaths sounded painful, his face twisted into a grimace, and he was bleeding. Badly.

"Mistah J!" Harley gasped, horrified, as she rushed to help him, only to pushed back roughly.

"I want them gone, Harley, and I want _you_ gone," He growled.

She longed to protest, to argue that she could help, but she knew so much better than that. She turned on her heel and exited the room.

The Joker's men where splayed across the living room, groaning and bandaging various injuries.

"What the hell happened!?" Harley demanded as she swung round the doorframe.

A few looked up, but most ignored her. "Ah - Harley," one of them said, "You couldn't get us a beer, could you?"

In response, Harley snatched up an empty beer bottle from the side table behind her and hurled it at his head. It shattered right on target.

"I said - What the hell happened!?"

And this time she managed to get their attention.

"Uh... the police turned up..." A brute by the name of Paul began.

"Yeah, I gathered that. _How_ _did they know_?"

"They were in on it, somehow. We get ambushed as soon as we get in the bank, so we scram, but the bastards chase us all over Gotham. There were to many of 'em to shake off, and they cut us off at the head near Gotham Heights. So now it's just a gunfight in the streets. Then the boss gets shot, most of us are arrested, an' only us manage to escape. But then..." Hugh trailed off miserably.

"The Batman caught up with us," another guy told Harley. His face would have been eager and proud if he wasn't in so much pain. "He beat Joker up an' tried to drag him off, but I shot him. I was hidin', see, with my sniper."

Harley took a deep breath to steady herself before continuing. "The boss wants ya out of here. Now." The henchmen usually slept in the apartments below, and Harley figured they were only up here now to look for medical supplies. "And take the hyenas with ya," she continued. She didn't want them disturbing the Joker.

She didn't stop to listen to their grumbles. She snatched up bandages out of Paul's arm as he lumbered past, and strode back off to the bedroom. She knew what she was planning wasn't exactly the smartest thing she could be doing, but she was not going to stand by while the Joker was hurt so badly.

xxxx

Harley paused at the doorway, and hesitated before entering. The bedroom was in semi-darkness. The Joker lay in the same position she'd left him in, his bloodied purple trenchcoat splayed out underneath him. She crept up slowly, and flinched when he spoke. She didn't like the weak, rasping sound of his voice.

"Out."

"...No," Harley defied him softly, knowing he wasn't in any kind of condition to do anything about it. "I'm gunna help ya."

"Huh?" The Joker lifted his head slightly, squinting at her. Then he began chuckling throatily as his girlfriend knelt beside him.

"Where're ya hurt?" Harley asked. She didn't expect a reply, and she didn't get one. So she looked him over, trying to decide which was the worst of his injuries. Half of his face was streaked crimson from a gash across his temple, the fingers on his right hand were twisted and bent, clearly broken, and he had a bullet wound to his right arm. What worried Harley most was the bloody wound to his chest. It looked like a bullet had grazed between his ribs.

"So what do you know about bullet wounds, Harls?" He rasped, as Harley removed his trenchcoat, waistcoat and shirt.

"I don't know nothing," She replied, relieved that he wasn't doing anything to stop her. "But I do know that ya can't go in any hospitals."

"At least wash your hands first," Joker said, settling back and closing his eyes as Harley began cleaning his wounds.

For the next hour, Harley did her best, and the results weren't bad. All she had left to treat was his head injury.

She picked up a damp cloth, and raised it tentatively to the Joker's face. He wasn't going to like this. She'd seen him without his make-up a few times before, though she knew that it wouldn't stop him getting pissed if she tried to take it off.

Nevertheless, she gently ran the cloth repeatedly along his forehead, expecting the worst from him. When he didn't respond, she assumed he must be sleeping.

"Well? Have I got another scar?" He asked, as enthusiastic as he could manage.

Harley rolled her eyes. "I think you'll have it for a few years or so."

She took the least possible amount of blood and make-up away from his face, and started stitching the four inch gash. She had stitched before, and this was straight forward.

"Take it all off, Harley," Joker said, surprising her, "I only enjoy an itchy face and blood in my eyes as much as the next guy."

Totally stunned, Harley quite happily obliged; She enjoyed seeing his strong, sharp features. He was a good-looking guy under all the face paint. The scars served to make him more obscure, more enigmatic.

After a moment, Harley paused. "Why're ya in such a good mood?" She couldn't understand it.

He laughed before responding. "I've had a fun night, and it's just got better."


	2. It begins again

**A/N I finally got the this chapter finished; it took a while because i was trying to outline the plot more clearly before I started writing. I didn't wanna hit a wall thre chapters in and leave it to die :P  
I'm trying to focus mainly on characterisation: I don't like the way Harley's often portrayed in fanfiction. She's either a dumb, overly hyperactive, lovestruck loon of a henchgirl, or, in the mature ffs, she's just a depressed whore. I'm trying to keep her lovable and insane, real world her, but without the aid of sex scenes. x) **

**As for the Joker, I had Heath Ledger's in mind. He's got some traces of Mark Hamill's though, I think... **

**I'd appreciate reviews, and critique would be honoured :)**

* * *

Harley winced as she heard a smash from the living room, followed by curses snarled by the Joker.

He hadn't been in a good mood lately. Though he didn't bother to show it, his injuries were irritating him, both physically and mentally. He didn't hate relying on others exactly, but he did hate not being able to do certain things by himself. These "things" meaning blowing up cops, playing Homicide, winding up Batman and slapping Harley around, to name a few.

Harley walked in to see what had him so vexed. He was stretched on the sofa, and growling at the news headlines as they flashed across the TV screen. "This is pathetic..."

"What's wrong, Puddin?"

"Look at this!" He replied,"The _state_ Gotham's in without me."

Harley leaned over the back of the sofa and read the headlines. The main story was the collapse of a major bank, and the headlines included, "Gotham now home to world's third tallest building", "Political anger over the mayor's rigged election" and "Teenage girl named Alice Wondler kidnapped - The Mad Hatter suspected to be involved."

"Boring," Harley said. "And how the hell did the _Mad Hatter_ plan a kidnap?"

" I haven't been in the Headlines for a fortnight, Harley! I'd be perfectly happy to kick back and let others have some fun with the city, but it's starting to frustrate me that no-one's taking this chance grab the limelight. The show's just plain dull."

"Well... Two-face was dumped in Arkham a month ago, right? Riddler's there too, but he's been there for months now; he's gotta be due for a break-out attempt... Ivy's in the Amazon, tryin' to find a new plant to murder everyone with, Scarecrow got beaten to a burlap pulp a week ago, so he wont be tryin' anything for a while, I think Catwoman's in Eur-"

"Yeah, Yeah, I get it," He snapped, as Harley vaulted over the sofa to sit by his side. "I should be out there now, ensuing terror into the hearts of the pure, innocent Gothamites. Thanks to the Bat I can't even aim a fucking gun. It's quite sad really."

Harley gazed at Joker. His make-up was even scruffier than usual, due to the fact he only had one working hand to apply it with. For the first time in a long while, she actually felt safe sitting so close to him. She hadn't gotten a beating or any kind of punishment during the last few weeks. The smart part of her mind told her it was only because Joker, having been shot twice, with four broken fingers and a broken rib, wasn't exactly in perfect condition to deal her any. She smothered that part of her in silence, happy that the Joker's anger was directed somewhere other than at herself.

A report came on, examining Arkham Asylum and studying how it was succeeding in keeping Gotham so safe, with the huge number of psychos it kept behind its walls. Joker threw a second wineglass at the screen, spraying dark red liquid up the walls, and Harley decided to make her exit.

xxx

The next morning, when the weak, pale, early morning sunshine began to slip through a crack in the curtains, Harley lay awake, watching the tendril of light creep across her bare legs. It was the only moving thing. Joker lay still next to her, lost in his twisted dreams.

Harley rubbed her eyes. She had been trying to sleep for a few hours now, and was finally giving up. She looked to her side, at Joker, and found she didn't really want to sleep anyway. Raising a gentle hand, she stroked his neck.

He was unhappy right now, and she couldn't smile when he couldn't.

Something needed to be done. Gotham needed to get out of this safe, droning, boring, atmosphere it was in now.

Harley had to provoke some crime, trigger hysterical suffering, and cause chaos to spread like wildfire.

But - she never came up with plans. It wasn't her place...

_Ha! Not anymore_, she thought to herself, as a plot unfolded in her mind, like a beautiful, blood-soaked flower.

xxx

It was midnight, and the streets of Gotham were quiet for a city of its size, to the relief of its citizens and frustration of its maniacs.

Harley rode in the passenger seat of a speeding SUV, loading a fourth pistol, then tucking it into her belt. She wore her usual - torn leather pants, one half black, the other dyed red. Her conflicting shirt was previously two, ripped apart and sown scruffily back together, to give opposite colours. Her weapons were concealed under a black trench-coat.

She watched Hugh, in the drivers seat, unnerving him slightly. She had taken special care over her make-up today, and it was proving effective.

"Don't forget the plan, Dopey," She trilled,_ Dopey_ being Hugh's codename.

"No problem, i've got it," Dopey replied.

She twisted in her seat to glare into the back of the SUV, where four other guys in clown masks were muttering to themselves and loading up pistols, shotguns and assault rifles. The grunts, Jack and Keith, were codenamed Happy and Grumpy. The pilot, Antonio, was dubbed Chuckles, and Karl the animal handler was called Silly.

The two hyenas writhed and tugged at their chains and muzzles, restless and cramped in the boot of the SUV. Silly failed to calm them both down.

Harley looked around her. They were speeding through the dirty slums of Arkham Island, the huge shadow of the Asylum looming closer.

Dopey pulled to jerking stop outside Arkham Asylum's security gates. The windows of the guardhouse, to Harley's right, were spattered with blood.

"Had your fun, then, Giggles?" Harley called, lowering her window.

Giggles emerged from the guardhouse, dragging a choking, spluttering guard. "Yeah," He replied, "I got what you wanted." He held up a belt loaded with security keys and bypasses, then tossed them at Harley before continuing, brandishing a knife in the guard's face. "All the alarms are out, so you can go on ahead. I just need to get him to disable the cameras, then I'll be right behind you."

Harley nodded, Giggles turned back to the guardhouse, and within a few moments had the main gates swinging open for them. Dopey accelerated into the dark drive, and after a couple of hundred metres swung left, away from the Main Entrance and towards Intensive Treatment.

"Just hope Giggles has knocked the cameras out already," Grumpy muttered to Happy, as the vehicle halted, and he stared up at the ominous building. "I don't wanna be back in 'ere again."

Harley and her henchmen quickly climbed out. Silly, struggling with the snarling pair of hyenas, handed Harley Lou's chains.

They split up; Happy, Chuckles and Silly started for the main stairs.

"Meet ya on the roof, or I'll shoot ya next time I see ya," Harley called to them, before sprinting round to the back of the building with Grumpy and Dopey.

They stopped before a foot tall, ground-level window. A security office. Grumpy shattered it with his steel-toed boot, and crawled through head-first. Dopey followed.

"Now it begins," Harley whispered giddily to herself, and felt a hysterical grin spread across her face. It was the first time in a long while that she had smiled, and the Joker had not been the one who made it happen.

* * *

**So. You've read it. And I know what ya wanna do next.... Ya wanna click that big greenish button right there and ya wanna review it. I know ya do....**


	3. Laughing in the Blood

Harley led the way through the institution's blank, depressing corridors. Grumpy and Dopey looked tense and unsettled as they followed her. She remembered the days when she had strode past those doors every working day. Of course, it was not long after those days when she was being wheeled past those exact same doors in a straitjacket, strapped to a wheelchair. Now, she wore a changed face, and Harleen Quinzel was far behind her.

They were making their way down through the basement levels to top security, which was now just one storey below. The bypasses Giggles had stolen were serving them well. Pushing the door open that entered onto the last set of descending stairs, Harley pointed at a door just outside the stairwell, to their right. "It's the security office for this floor," She told Grumpy. "There'll only be one guard in there. He probably won't even have noticed the cameras are out."

He lumbered towards it, and slipped inside, pulling a crowbar out of his jacket. Dopey slinked down the stairs, and Harley tugged Lou down after her. The hyena's constant growling, hissing and snarling was scratching at Dopey like an itch, though Harley seemed to like the sound.

After a couple more security doors, Grumpy had rejoined them, and they were stalking down the corridor that held the most dangerous maniacs. Although the vicious chemical smell that intruded in the upper floors was slightly weaker down here, the wails that came form the patients were louder, more frequent, and a whole lot more unnerving. Harley spared the Joker's reserved cell a glance as she passed it, and didn't look at her own. She scanned the name plates, and found the one she was looking for halfway down the corridor: "H. DENT"

There was a keypad on the door, and she swiped her security bypass across it, knowing it wouldn't actually do any good. To open the top security cells without the code, you needed a key card and identification. Identification from either a doctor, or a guard who patrolled this floor.

Harley peered through the tiny barred window into Two-face's cell. Although the corridor was brightly lit, the cell was as gloomy as a cave. She couldn't make out his silhouette.

"So, err... What do we do now? To get it open?" Dopey asked, looking around nervously, in case any guards suddenly strode round the corner.

Harley turned to him, her head cocked to one side, with a look of mock desperation on her face. "Looks like we're gonna have ta kill a poor, innocent guard, fellas."

Grumpy immediately set off down the corridor, hefting his crowbar. Dopey followed a little more hesitantly.

"Now, boys!... Don't forget to bring me back his I.D."

They disappeared round the corner. Pulling an average steel hammer out of her trench-coat, Harley turned back to the cell and struck the metal bars. "Wakey Wakey, Harvey Denty!" There was no sign of movement from inside, so she struck them again. From her time at the asylum, Harley knew that sounds like this went ignored in the corridors, as the patients were constantly clamouring against their cells anyway.

"Oi! Get up, Bacon-face!" Harley called, hammering again on his cell door.

Finally, a groggy, angry voice replied. "_Quinn_? What the hell is this...?"

"Hi, I'm your new doctor."

Two-face's slandered features appeared at the window, eyes screwed up against the light. "... Right ... What's Joker sent you for?"

Harley frowned, and put her hands on her hips. "He didn't send me nowhere! I can make decisions myself, y'know."

"Oh, really?" He said, raising his eyebrows.

"You could be a little more grateful seein as i'm breakin ya outta here."

"You expect me to go with you?"

"Well... Yeah," Harley said, narrowing her eyes.

"Of course, I'll go with you, so you can take me back to that clown so he can kill me himself. Sure, I'm really that naive."

"Sure, you're really that paranoid." She shook her head and smirked. "Look, this has got nothing to do with ..."

She broke off as Dopey and Grumpy came round the corner. Grumpy's shirt was spattered with blood. Dopey tossed an I.D card at Harley. She placed it in the slot on the keypad.

Before swiping the bypass, she glared at Two-face. "Just cause you're half combusted - it doesn't mean we'd hesitate to drag the your smoked half down a couple of corridors, 'kay? It's your choice."

xxx

Two-Face followed them back through the building with little trouble, apart from, of course, trying to murder Harley at one point. The four of them had run into a small group of guards, one of several, Harley thought, patrolling the corridors in the extremely likely event that the camera, alarm, and phone line failure was more than a technical malfunction. In fact, she was suspicious of the small number of people they had encountered so far. She assumed some must have left the island to get help from the police.

Two-face had tossed his coin, then snatched a pistol from one of the dead guards, and had done his best, before Grumpy tackled him to ground, to empty the round into Harley's chest. The attempt had her in hysterics.

"Not used a gun in a while, eh, Harvey?," She teased, nodding at the scattered cracks his bullets had made in the tiled wall. Two-face just glared at her as his hands were tied behind his back. "Why do ya wanna kill me?" She continued, as her giggles died down, and they began moving again. "I just don't get it.... I'm doin ya a favor here," she added, poking him in the chest.

"I'll be doing myself a favor if I kill you, Quinn," He growled.

"Really?... Why would it? If ya kill me know, and if the plan was to take you back to Joker, these two behind me would do just that. And if it wasn't, they'd just shoot you down. So go on, enlighten me. Why did ya toss that coin?"

They reached the ground floor, and Harley led the way through the nearest fire escape. As they climbed upwards at a swift pace, Two-face replied, "It was a chance for revenge on the Joker. I just couldn't resist."

Harley frowned at this, and set her eyes on the roof.

Lou was in Grumpy's stronger hands, and the hyena was howling and scrambling to get out of his muzzle as he was dragged up the darkened steel stairs.

"Why did you bring them, Quinn?" Two-face asked, looking back at Grumpy with a surly expression.

"Who?"

"Your mutts, of course."

"Oh, just extra defence. They chase bats, ya see. Besides, its always fun to set them on Eddy."

"Eddy?"

"Yeah, forgot to mention it. We're bringing your old friend Edward Nigma along, too." Harley said, as they stepped onto the roof. The helicopter that was used to transport the extremely dangerous rested on the heli-pad in the center of the roof. Chuckles, Silly, Happy and the Riddler, still wearing a loosened straitjacket, stood around it restlessly.

"Finally!" Chuckles said. "What the fuck kept you? The cameras are back on - I take you didn't notice?" He pointed to the door that opened on to the roof. A security camera was perched there, a green light blinking next to the lens.

"Nah, I was too busy dodging bullets. You will be soon if ya wanna be that dis-" Harley began, before Grumpy and Dopey both swore loudly and pushed her out of the way as they headed for the helicopter. Chuckles was already climbing into the pilot's chair.

"They came on about fifteen minutes ago," Silly said. "I bet you anything the Bat's already on his damned way..."

"We gotta get outta here!" Dopey called. "What are you all waiting for?"

They all started towards the helicopter. But before they got halfway there, they heard the sound of a beast of an engine turning off the drive.

"Here he is," Harley whispered to herself, "To spoil my fun, as usual..."_  
_

There was no chance Chuckles would be able to get the helicopter out of Batman's reach before he got to the roof, so Harley bolted, along with Two-face, Riddler, Silly and Grumpy.

Grumpy slammed into the door leading to the main building, but it didn't budge. They all cursed simultaneously.

"Locked - security knows we're here," Silly said.

"Well, it's better than them coming up here and helping the Bat themselves," The Riddler informed them.

"No it ain't," Harley snapped, while pulling out her hammer again and pounding at the lock. "Now we ain't got no escape - the fire escapes'll be locked too."

"There's no point, Harley - The door's reinforced - we noticed on our way up," Silly told her.

"Ya really think I care?"

The others were pulling out their weapons, and over by the helicopter, Happy had dragged Chuckles out of it, yelling in his face, "How the hell could you have stole the wrong shitty keys? How many fucking helicopters are there?!"

The henchmen by the helicopter were in a full-blown mix of anger and panic, realising that their only way off the roof was past the Batman.

"Brilliant choice of men, Quinn," Two-face said.

"Hey, they're the best I got," She replied with a shrug. "Meanin they're the only ones I got. So make do, yeah?"

"He's here!" Silly yelled, immeadiatley spotting the grapple that had just embedded itself in the edge of the roof. Thrusting Bud's chains on Harley, he started towards it along with almost everyone else, only to stop when two more joined the first grapple.

"Oh, here we go," Harley trilled in surpressed anticipation, "It's Birdboy and the Batbrat..."

The Batman swung onto the roof, his black mass blurred as he began his attacks. Robin and Batgirl swooped behind him, kestrels backing the eagle.

They split up, and it was clear to Harley within moments what their plan of action was. The Batman was focusing his efforts on knocking the goons out of the way, Robin was chasing after Two-face and the Riddler, whilst Batgirl was running straight at Harley.

Giggling hysterically at the situation in general, Harley set her beloved hyenas loose. Batgirl lost no time in veering out of their way behind an air vent, and the next person in the animals' line of sight was Robin, who had already caught the riddler and was busy tightening the villian's straitjacket. Alarmed by the sounds of their pounding feet and starved snarls, Robin looked up, realising it was far too late to avoid the beasts. He backed off, and pulled out his blades, hurling them at the oncoming hyenas. Batgirl stood, launching her own batarangs at them.

Harley, her hands now free, seized a revolver from her belt and loosed the bullets at Batgirl, forcing her to stay hidden. She glanced at the brawl on the far side of the roof. Batman was at ease with taking out the several armed brutes in clown masks. Riddler was in the process of stumbling towards the fire escape, away from Robin battling the hyenas. Two-face had already completely disappeared.

Batgirl shot her grapple in Harley's direction, and as Harley tried to dodge, the claws locked around her ankle and jerked back, tripping her. Batgirl took the oppurtunity to advance, though it didn't take long for Harley to slide her foot out of the grapple and stagger upright.

As Batgirl sprinted the dozen metres that seperated them, Harley shot her last bullets. One clipped Batgirl's hip, but it seemed her suit had protected her from it, as she only stumbled and gasped when it hit. Harley stalked towards her, now wielding her hammer and and a serrated knife. They drew closer to the edge, mere feet from the four storey drop.

Harley struck first. Batgirl stayed defensive, parrying and dodging, waiting for gap in Harley's swings. As soon as one came, she aimed a swift kick at Harley's knee, knocking her off balance, and drove a batarang towards her shoulder. Harley veered left, and received a slash in her forearm instead. She dropped her hammer, and snatched a fistful of Batgirls cape instead. Dodging behind her, Harley dragged her knife over Batgirl's shoulders, ripping the cape from them. Then she seized Batgirl's arm, and swung her towards the edge. She let go, throwing her off the building.

"Learn to fly, Babybat!"

Turning on her heel, Harley fled towards the fire escape. Batman was finishing the last of Harley's men, and Robin was still struggling with the hyenas. She managed to launch herself down the escape with no one on her tail, and sped towards the cover of the trees and bushes that lined the fence. She followed the steel railings around the asylum, moving as fast as she could.

xxx

Darkness was lifting as Harley drove through Gotham's slums. She had ditched the SUV as soon as she could, and was now riding a smooth toyota. She was sure she wasn't being followed, and was calmed by the fact that she was a mere ten minutes from the apartment.

As she drove down a street lined with grimy shops and small factories, her windshield shattered. Shielding her face from the glass with an arm, she screeched to a halt on the pavement. Amongst the broken glass, a jagged piece of metal was embedded into the passenger seat. A second glance told her it was shaped perfectly like a bat.

Harley bolted out of the car, pulled out her hammer and shattered the nearest window she saw.

She cut herself badly climbing through, though she hardly cared. She sprinted through heavy sqeaking doors and clear plastic sheeting. It was only when she ran into a freezing room, full of dead pigs hanging from a ceiling, she realised she was in a meat processing factory. The pigs were being bled - large, heavy black metal buckets placed underneath them were full of blood from the split necks.

Harley halted, trying to catch her breath. She heard quiet, but rapid footsteps approaching. They were to light and swift to be Batman's or Robin's.

Smirking, she spurred her tired limbs into action. She kicked over the bucket closest to her, sending the grisly contents flooding towards the door. She hid behind some double doors, and hefted another bucket into her arms, before standing with her back to the wall, waiting for Batgirl.

The squeal of someone sliding on a wet surface, a soft yell and muffled thud filled Harley's ears. She had trouble keeping a straight face.

It was easier to hear Batgirl now, as every step she took, no matter how soft, was accompanied by a tiny splat. As soon as Harley deduced she was only feet away, she jumped from behind the doors, and hurled the bucket in Batgirl's direction.

She fell to the floor a second time in as many minutes, dripping crimson, and clutching her head.

"Surprise!" Harley laughed. She bounded towards her, and pinned her to the ground; kneeling on her chest with a knife to the throat.

"So ya _actually_ learned to _fly_?" Harley asked, while Batgirl spluttered and coughed on stale pig's blood, and tried to shake her head to get it out of her eyes. "Ya didn't really though, didja, huh?" She continued, and pulled Batgirl's grapple off her belt. "Tut tut. Where would you lot be without ya little toys, eh?"

Batgirl coughed and wheezed as she tried to speak. "You know what a distraction is, Harley?"

"... Yeah. What, ya want one last game of Dictionary before ya die?"

"No. I'm trying to distract you."

Harley whipped around, but it was too late. A great weight swung into the back of her head, and before she knew it she was pressed face down on the bloodsoaked floor, her hands bound.

"Oh, hey Bats," Harley said brightly with her muffled voice. "Come on in."

* * *

**A/N geeeeeez, This took AGES. I really hope ya like it, it was a hell of a lot of fun to write. I hope Batgirl doesn't seem to weak in this - she kicks ass really, she's just having a bad day :P**

**Thanks for reading! x  
**


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